The Big C

Time to try something new. hopefully getting all of this out in the world of blog will help.

I am a wreck! I haven't cried less that 50 times a day in the last 4 days. 

First i will start with how grateful i am for what i have. I have the most amazing husband in the entire world. seriously. we have had our tributes, but our triumphs have overpowered. Its OK to be a little jealous. i have the best kids ever. they are all so damn wonderful. I am so proud to call them mine!

Now for whats troubling me...

my dad has cancer. yup the big C. sweet. he was diagnosed a while back when he had a 10cm 'tumor' in his right kidney. it was removed, and tested. cancer. just like that it was gone. or so we thought. it came back a few months later on his other kidney. sweet. right before he went in for surgery, it was cancelled and a body scan was ordered. spots on his lungs. the next week a spot was biopsied. cancer. sweet. oh wait, now there's something on his liver. lets just assume that's cancer too. 

My dad has stage 4 cancer. no more surgeries. chemo. A note about chemo. it sucks. every single warning or 'may cause...' happened. It happened fast. 6 months into treatment, chemo dose was lowered based on how sick my dad was because of it. 

Just yesterday my dad was taken off of chemo. good news? yes and no. 

no more upset stomach, no more diarrhea, no more night sweats, no more loss of appetite, no more not being able to taste his food, not more itchy hands, etc... no more living a few more unhappy months. 

No more living a few more unhappy months. wow. that about sums it up. The time he has left wont be as miserable. do i want him around forever? Not like this. I want him to enjoy, truly enjoy what little time he has left. 

Just a few days ago a friend called me. She called me in tears. Cancer. Holy Fuck!!! Shit just got real. shes my age. She is seriously the healthiest person i am friends with. She gardens her own food, eats organic, doesn't put any chemicals in her body, exercises regularly, etc... Cancer. 

Not super shocked about my dad in all honesty. upset for sure, but he leads a very unhealthy lifestyle. But by friend??? i am beside myself. A wreck. Why not me? shit, i smoke, i eat junk half the time, drink a pot of coffee daily, drink pop, never exercise. sweet.

Eye opener for sure. Do i know that what i do isn't healthy? of course i do. So its most defiantly time for a change. a change for my health, a change for my husband and kids. I want to enjoy so many more years of the good that i have created with my family. So today is day 4 on Scott and my journey of step 1. Quitting smoking\chewing tobacco. we quit a few years back with the help of nicorette gum. This time were trying chantex. 

Here's to a long wonderful life. cheers.

what?

kinda forgot that i even had a blog. time to use this bad boy. thanks kate for the reminder. i will be letting off some steam...in the future. near future? i guess we will see.

more photos for your enjoyment...

3 cute kiddos, my fire pit, our new scotty built pathway, and lettuce in my garden.

more photos for your enjoyment...

3 cute kiddos, my fire pit, our new scotty built pathway, and lettuce in my garden.

rain, rain,

please do stay.
you are making my garden oh so lovely.

kindergarten roundup

charleigh attended kindergarten roundup today. i cant believe my sweet little girl is almost a schooler (as she refers to it). time flies. almost time to go back-pack shopping for her. ill have a 5th grader and a kindergartner and 2 at home. cant wait!

police cutbacks

pink slips went out yesterday. 8 officers are officially laid off, thats 22%. way big bummer for our our community. thankfully the hubz placed a 21 page application 2 weeks ago, and is taking a 3 hour test today. both for different jobs. please keep your fingers crossed!

charleigh

this morning at breakfast i overheard chuck tell scott

what she wanted to get me for mothers day.

almost a whisper "daddy we need to get mom some pro flowers from .com"

i just love her!!!

beth update

apparently all the prayers and tears helped. i sware to you beth is a damn cat. she has more lives than most. she is doing great! shes talking, eating and had a shower. her brain is swollen and the doctors are trying to figure out why. shes still pretty uncomfortable, and will be hospitalized a bit longer. hopefully ill be able to visit her next week.

ive been kissin and huggin my kiddos so much lately. please do the same!

xoxo -eryn

i am sad.

my friend is sick. her husband found her in the bathroom late saturday. she was disheveled only saying ok? over and over, as if trying to piece her life together. she didnt know who she was, or her husband, or where abouts. thats when the doctors believe she had a stroke.

her blood is septic, shes been having seizures and small strokes, and shes incoherent. when the doctors tried lowering her sleepy medicine she got really aggravated. not sure if she was trying to communicate and couldnt or what.

its just a waiting game now. waiting for some sort of miracle recovery.

please pray for beth.

dear blog,

i really havent forgotten about you. i have just been busy. i sware. and my camera is acting up.

so, everything is pretty much the same around here. leah still has the bestest pouty lips ever, and the attitude to match. charleigh is still obsessed with discovery kids, scary shows and all. mary is still wearing pretty princess dresses all day, begging for compliments as she twirls. and jax? well hes sorta starting to talk. never on command though. and yeah he twirls in princess dresses whenever he has the chance too. lol. scott is still a work-a-haulik, at work and at home. still as hairy as ever. just a bit thinner. 44lbs thinner. jager had a friend over this week. briggs. the kids call him bricks. me? i recently became a pure romance rep. its cool, all kinda gizmos and gadgets, lotions and stuff.

sincerely,
eryn

today

we made paper dolls.

charleigh is the only one who really cared.

it always reminds me of making paper dolls with my mom when i was a little girl.

well,

leah has a new room. a pre-teens dream. all her own. no more sharing with little girls.
we have a new living room. new furniture. a sectional. beige. looking around we have beige walls, beige carpet, beige lazy boy and now beige furniture. huh.
so were off to ikea on saturday morning to buy something with color. pillows, and some other amazing treasures im sure. leah needs some new ikea stuff as well, neon shes asking for.
cant wait til its all finished.

lets build something together...

scotts got the day off. what to do on a beautiful day? ill tell ya.

build a bedroom in the basement.

hardwood floors in? check.

a few trips to the home depot for materials? check.

measure twice cut once.

measure again.

nail.

bring wall to the basement.

bring the too tall wall from the basement to be remeasured and re nailed.

(subtracting 4 inches)

redo all said steps above.

first portion of the wall is up...

the door is hung now too.

hopefully this project will be done before the weekend is over.

bober

can climb out of his crib now and open his bedroom door.

perfect.