wife needed

ive said this before. i really need a wife. someone to help with the kids and house work, a little companionship would be nice too. please apply below...

1. knows her way around a vacuum and mop.
2. isnt terrified of poopy diapers. lots of poopy diapers.
3. washes windows and mirrors.
4. can make a mean dinner with ingredients found in the house.
5. willing to have one or two children on hip('s). at all times.
6. she must be willing to help with 3rd grade homework. yes, its harder than it sounds.
7. has a green thumb.
8. knows the importance of a bedtime routine.
9. has magic kisses for boo boos.
10. can handle four kids at the grocery store.
11. knows how to work on demand for repeated viewings of dragon tales.
12. pets the dog when pets are needed.
13. can break up a toddler fight.
14. she must enjoy loading and unloading the dishwasher.
15. knows the difference between marys and charleighs clothes. panties and socks too.
16. knows her way around a bottle of wine and how to open it.
17. eager to let the mommy take a nap.
18. and a shower. uninterrupted that is.
19. nurses baby at night... all night.
20. has all emergency phone numbers memorized.


if youre at all interested, can do all or even one of those tasks. please leave comment. i will contact you!! oh yeah. i dont pay my staff as i dont get paid for my responsibilities. thank you. and yes i am serious.